Heartbreak and a haircut
by Robmeister2010
Summary: Penny is sad after Leonard breaks up with her whilst on the ship. Sheldon tries to make her feel better. With a haircut of all things...
1. Chapter 1

*knock knock*

Sheldon glanced up from his spot as a familiar head poked round the door.

"Good evening Penny. It is unlike you to knock before entering." He remarked.

"Hey sweetie. I just thought I'd pop over to say I'm gonna give Halo a miss tonight." She replied.

"Give it a miss? But you're on my team! I can't win single handed, it's two on two with Raj and Wolowitz!" cried Sheldon.

"I just got off Skype with Leonard. I'm really not in the mood sweetie. I'm sorry." Said Penny before closing the door.

"Well that is most unsatisfactory." Muttered Sheldon to himself. Penny sank into her couch and no sooner had she taken a deep breath, did the knocking ritual occur.

*knock knock knock* Penny!

*knock knock knock* Penny!

*knock knock knock* Penny!

"Oh god." Sighed Penny. A pause occurred.

"It's open Sheldon." She sighed before he started another round of knocking. Sheldon opened the door and stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"Am I to assume something has happened during your Skype session with Leonard?" he asked.

"We broke up." Penny replied.

"I see." Sheldon nodded.

"Look, I know you wanted to play two on two but I really don't feel up to it Sheldon." Said Penny.

"Do you…want to talk about it?" he asked. Penny gave him a small smile.

"I won't bore you with the details." Said Penny.

"Thanks." Sheldon replied. He picked up on the look on her face that it was the wrong answer.

"What I meant to say was…I think you need to talk about it." Sheldon guessed again.

"He's met someone on the ship. He wanted to tell me before anything happened. I guess I should be pleased he took the time to tell me." Said Penny. Sheldon stepped further into the room.

"This is exactly why Amy and I have a relationship agreement. None of this would have happened if you and Leonard knew where you stood and what each others responsibilities and obligations are in the relationship." Said Sheldon.

"Maybe you're right. The next guy I go out with, I'll get you to write me an agreement!" sighed Penny sinking further into her couch. Sheldon hesitantly sat next to her on the couch.

"Amy sometimes feels comforted if I give her a cuddle for a short period of time. Do you think the variable could be exchanged between Amy and yourself?" he asked. Penny looked at him and blinked.

"Are you offering to comfort me?" asked Penny.

"I believe it may be helpful in your situation." Sheldon replied.

"OK." Whispered Penny, a little unsure how to go about it. Sheldon sat back into the couch and Penny scooted closer to him, not wishing to startle him. She gently eased herself against him and Sheldon placed a tentative arm around her shoulders. Softly he moved his other arm around and placed his hand on her forehead, holding her to his chest. Penny let out a long sigh.

"Thank you sweetie. I know you don't like this sort of thing but I really needed this." She whispered appreciatively.

"You're welcome Penny." He replied after a moment.

"I can hear your heart beating." She whispered.

"When it's not beating is when you need to show concern." Sheldon replied. Penny let out a small laugh.

"You always cheer me up Sheldon. I wish I could meet a nice guy like you." Said Penny.

"I'm unique. You don't get this level of weirdness in more than one person." Sheldon said letting out a breathy laugh.

"Don't talk yourself down. Even if you are bat shit crazy." Penny smiled.

"I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested." Sheldon reminded her.

"I don't care if you're crazy or not. I love you ya big weirdo." She smiled.

"I love you too." Sheldon replied.

"Careful Homo Novus…you almost admitted to having feelings." Said Penny.

"Just because I don't express them doesn't mean I don't have them. For example, I came over here to comfort you. If I had no feelings, I would have remained in my spot reading my comic book." Said Sheldon.

"That's true. Thank you Sheldon." She whispered softly. She closed her eyes and sighed. A fair few minutes of silence passed and Sheldon was feeling a little awkward. As he tilted his head down, he sighed. Penny had fallen fast asleep.

"I guess neither of us will be playing Halo tonight." He whispered softly.

_I can't just throw her to one side. Now what do I do? I guess I will have to wake until she wakes up. Alright, let's pass the time. Name that element. Oh no, that's really more of a two person game. Wait a minute!_

Sheldon took a small sniff of her hair.

_I don't believe it! She's changed her shampoo again! After I specifically told her to stick to Green Apple! That's going to have to be a strike, Leonard breakup heartbreak or no Leonard breakup heartbreak. Mind you…it is an interesting scent?_

Sheldon took another sniff.

_If I'm not mistaken…pfft I'm Dr Sheldon Cooper, I'm never mistaken about anything…that's a hint of Tangerine in there. Hmm. I may have to let her have a trial of it first. See if it fits in to my liking. Before I decide whether she has to change back or not. I must admit, she's very peaceful when she's sleeping. Sad that she has all that hair in her face. I wonder if she would let me cut her hair sometime? She did a good job of doing mine…even if she did shave part of the back off when I moved. And she did all that without access to my haircut records. I think Penny has hidden talents. She just lets her lobido get in the way of expressing things._

Sheldon took another sniff of the heavenly shampoo scent. It was at that moment Penny was startled awake.

"Were you smelling my hair?" she asked in confusion.

"Um…" Sheldon stammered.

"Oh god, the tangerine shampoo. Sheldon, I'm sorry, it was on sale, gimme a break!" groaned Penny.

"I find the scent very pleasing. I will be willing to allow a trial." Said Sheldon. Penny glanced up at him through her mess of blonde hair.

"You're going to let me have a trial of my own shampoo?" she asked in amusement.

"Penny, I don't think you realise how big a thing this is. I prefer Green Apple, the fact I am even considering this tangerine thing is a big step." Said Sheldon. Penny nodded.

"Sorry I fell asleep on you. You must be cringing." Said Penny.

"Actually, I was engaging myself in a thought about your hair. Do you not consider cutting your hair, or having someone do it? It seems far too long to be useful." Said Sheldon.

"Useful? I don't have hair because it's useful sweetie, it's just something I have. Like arms or legs." Said Penny.

"Oh yes, arms and legs cannot be classed as useful atall." Scoffed Sheldon.

"Besides, hairdressers cost money." Said Penny.

"I would consider cutting it." Said Sheldon.

"You?" Penny asked.

"I spent a great deal of time watching my mother cut my siblings hair." Sheldon explained.

"But you hate touching. I'm surprised you're even allowing me to cuddle you, now you want to cut my hair?" she asked in disbelief.

"It might help you to feel better?" he offered. Penny thought for a moment.

"I've got scissors in my bedroom." Said Penny and she pulled herself off him. Sheldon tried to ignore the strange feeling left in him by her absence. Penny quickly hurried back with the scissors.

"Here you go. Now please don't cut too much off. I don't want to be bald." Said Penny.

"Just a trim." He assured her. Penny sat on the nearest stool to her and Sheldon stood and moved behind her, scissors in hand.

"Have you been anywhere nice on your holidays?" he asked. Penny stifled a laugh.

"Sweetie, you don't have to do the hairdresser patter. You know I've not been on a holiday. I've only had two days off in the last week, I spent one taking you to the comic book store and the other in bed for most of it with a hangover." Smiled Penny.

"Very well. Hold still." Said Sheldon taking the first snip. Penny tried not to think about what horror she might end up with. This was Sheldon. Offering to cut her hair. She hadn't even had to ask!

"Take your time." She said managing to reach for a magazine. She got lost reading several different articles and by the time she'd finished Sheldon had finished the back and sides.

"Alright, just the front." Said Sheldon. He moved in front of her, pushing his legs either side of hers so as to get close enough. Penny blushed a little. This was way more close proximity than she was expecting. Having finished her magazine, she took to casting a glance over his shirts.

_Why does he always wear two shirts? He should mix it up a little. Oh well…I guess it is Sheldon. Maybe he feels comfortable being covered up. It's a shame. Under all those layers I bet there's a decent body. Woah, where the hell did that come from?!_


	2. Unwise decision

Penny had to have an answer.

"Sheldon, what do you wear two shirts for?" she asked softly.

"It's just the way I dress. Kindly keep still Penny or your fringe will look ridiculous." Sheldon replied.

"I get the feeling you hide something under there. Don't you like the way you look?" she asked.

"Of course I do. I'm the proverbial hunk." Sheldon replied sarcastically.

"Sarcasm sweetie?" Penny smiled.

"Yes." He replied. He placed a hand against the side of her head.

"What are you doing?" she asked softly.

"Checking to see if it's straight." Sheldon replied. The feeling of his fingers on her head made a strange sensation right through her body.

"You realise you're touching me right? Without gloves?" she asked.

"I can hardly cut your hair without doing so. And since you take an acceptable hygiene regimen, I have decided I can go without gloves. Besides, I have hand sanitiser in my pocket." Said Sheldon.

"Huh. And here I was thinking you were just pleased to see me!" smirked Penny.

"Of course I'm pleased to see you. You're my friend." He said. Penny rolled her eyes. He would never get innuendo.

"How's it looking?" she asked.

"I believe I am doing an acceptable job." He replied.

"I'm sure you are." Penny smiled. Then Sheldon leaned down so their faces were mere inches away from each other as he checked the line across her fringe. Pennys breath stuck in the back of her throat.

_God, what's happening to me? Why can't I breathe properly? This is probably the closest I've ever been to someone that didn't involve being laid out on a bed or a couch. Oh god! Mental image of Sheldon on a bed with me! Abort! Abort!_

"Penny, I believe I have reached a satisfactory conclusion." Said Sheldon.

"I haven't even started." Penny muttered, then blushed as she realised she'd said it out loud.

"Haven't started what?" he asked confused. Penny looked deep into his eyes. Those blue as the ocean eyes that she adored. He was more than just a beautiful mind.

_Oh what the hell. What harm can it do?_

Penny leant forward and placed her lips softly against his, just for a moment. Sheldon startled back in shock.

"What was that?" he asked.

"A thank you for the haircut." Penny lied.

"I would prefer a hearty hand shake." Sheldon replied pulling a wipe out of his pocket and moving it across his lips. The very sight caused Pennys stomach to lurch.

_Thanks a lot Sheldon. Way to give a girl a boost!_

"I believe you are at the mirror stage." Sheldon finally stated.

"I'll trust you." Penny muttered and moved to the couch unhappily.

"You don't wish to check my work? How will I know if the job has been completed to your satisfaction." Said Sheldon.

"Oh, I'm _really_ satisfied Sheldon." Penny growled through gritted teeth.

"OK. I should attend my apartment to shower and prepare for Halo. You are welcome to come over." Said Sheldon.

"Don't hold your breath." Penny replied.

"Have a good evening Penny." He said heading for the door.

"Whatever." Penny replied. Sheldon left the apartment.

_What a great day. Lenard ditches me for another woman, and I can't even get a kiss without the whackadoodle wiping his lips with a tissue like I've just given him Mono! Stupid Homo Novus jackass._

Penny was brought out of her thoughts by her phone ringing.

"Hey Bernadette." She sighed answering it.

"Hey Penny. How are you?" she asked. Penny blinked. She sounded concerned.

"I'm fine." She said.

"Sheldon just sent me a text. Asked me to call you. He said you appeared to be experiencing a below average mood." Said Bernadette.

"Did he now?" asked Penny glaring at the closed door.

"You OK?" asked Bernadette.

"Oh, it's just me being stupid. I did something I shouldn't and took my punishment pretty quickly after." Said Penny.

"What do you mean?" asked Bernadette.

"Leonard has met someone on the ship. He broke up with me." Said Penny.

"Oh no. I'm sorry. But…why is that _your_ mistake?" asked Bernadette.

"Sheldon cut my hair." Said Penny.

"Oh, now it makes sense. Just how bad is it?" asked Bernadette.

"That's not what I mean. I haven't even looked. Oh, I should keep my mouth shut." Sighed Penny.

"I'm your friend. You can tell me anything." Said Bernadette.

"Alright, but you have to promise not to freak out. I just felt vulnerable and lonely!" said Penny.

"Oh Penny! You hooked up with someone!" groaned Bernadette.

"Chance would be a fine thing. He wiped his mouth with a tissue after a small kiss." Muttered Penny.

"What do you mean? The only guy I know who would do that is…oh no. Oh Penny, you didn't!" cried Bernadette.

"Please don't yell at me!" Penny whined.


	3. A most fascinating phenomenon

"What on earth would possess you to do that with _Sheldon_?" asked Bernadette.

"I don't know, he was being really sweet and I just…I don't know." Sighed Penny.

"Well I'm not telling Amy." Said Bernadette.

"Neither am I." replied Penny.

"Excuse me? You most certainly are!" cried Bernadette.

"Why the hell would I do that?" asked Penny.

"Incase you forgot, she is Sheldons girlfriend and you kissed him!" said Bernadette.

"I disguised it as a thank you for the haircut, he doesn't think it's anything romantic, there's no need to tell Amy." Penny reasoned.

"I figured you would want to tell her before he did." Said Bernadette.

"Why would Sheldon tell her?" asked Penny.

"Well maybe because of two things. Firstly, he can't tell a lie or a secret, and secondly, he wouldn't have the understanding to know there was anything wrong in telling her." Said Bernadette.

"Oh _hell_ no!" cried Penny realising she was right. She had to get across to 4A. She hung up without even saying goodbye and burst through the door of 4A. Water running from the bathroom.

_Here comes your third strike girl!_

Penny pushed into the bathroom.

"Sheldon, I need to talk to you." She said quietly.

"Penny, it is most unacceptable to burst into a bathroom when a person is showering!" Sheldon replied.

"I know, I know, third strike. I don't care. Sheldon, I have to talk about what happened a minute ago." Said Penny. Sheldon shut the water off. That she expected. Then he pulled the curtain back, revealing himself in his naked glory. That she did not expect.

"Sheldon!" she let out in a high pitched squeak.

"Penny, my ears already take a mattering having to listen to the high pitch of Bernadette, kindly change your voice down to a lower more pleasing register." Sheldon stated.

"Sheldon, you're naked!" Penny whispered.

"Of course I'm naked. I'm showering. What would be the point of showering with my clothes on? Not only would the water be unable to remove the bacteria and germs on my body, but my clothes would be wet and therefore require changing upon my departing of the bathroom." Said Sheldon.

"You shouldn't be naked in front of people!" said Penny and she spun around. It was then she caught sight of herself in the bathroom mirror for the first time.

"Oh Sheldon!" she whispered.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"My hair. It's the first time I've seen it." Said Penny.

"Penny, if you are about to go…as you term it…junior rodeo on me…could I atleast be allowed to exit the shower first?" he asked.

"Sheldon, I love it!" she whispered running her hands through it.

"Oh. Good. However, it is still unacceptable that you are in my bathroom and disturbing my shower." Said Sheldon.

_Now what do I do? I can't turn round when he's naked. He clearly doesn't get that you're not supposed to expose yourself to people. And he's got a surprising amount to expose. Oh stop it you horny slut, that's your ex boyfriends roommate!_

Penny did a full 90 degree turn in either direction to get the full view of your new hairstyle.

"Sheldon, I love my hair!" she repeated.

"Thank you." Sheldon stated. Penny hadn't heard him climb from the shower and now he was standing right behind her, which startled her as his reflection came into focus in the mirror.

"So…you should probably put a towel on." Said Penny, trying with all her might to keep her eyes on the reflection of his face.

"I haven't finished my shower. I merely paused it due to your interruption." Said Sheldon. Penny finally relented and let her eyes glance further down the reflection.

"You've got a massive dick." She whispered.

"What?" asked Sheldon.

"What?" Penny repeated.

_Oh fuck! I said it out loud! Now what?!_

"I have to go." Said Penny. There was a short silence.

"I don't understand. You made a crude comment about my genitalia, stated you had to leave, yet you are remaining in your current position." Sheldon stated.

"Right. Um…off I go!" said Penny. She still couldn't move.

_I wonder what he'd do if I reached out and held it?_

"Penny, you are instigating very personal physical contact." He said quietly. Penny rose an eyebrow in confusion until she looked down in the reflection and saw something that made her heart stop. She had unconsciously done what she was just thinking!

"Um…er…" Penny stammered.

"Would you care to elaborate on what you are doing?" he asked softly.

_What AM I doing? Oh for god sake, I'm holding my ex boyfriends roommates dick!_

"Um…you're way bigger than Leonard sweetie." She offered.

"Thank you for the clarification but I fail to see why you are engaging in this comparison." Said Sheldon.

_I don't either! For god sake girl, just let it go! Open your hand and let it go! For god sake, this is Whackadoodle, what are you doing?_

"Penny, you are forcing me to respond to physical stimuli." He whispered.

_Oh my god! Whackadoodle Homo Novus is getting hard in my hand! This is not happening! What the hell am I doing?_

Sheldon reached around and placed a hand softly on her stomach, causing her to let out a sharp gasp of air.

"Do you know how long I have used Kolinar to resist my carnal urges?" he asked. Pennys eyes shot up to watch his in the reflection. There was something different about them. Need. Desire.

_Oh god! I've blown a fuse in his beautiful mind with my big ol five act!_

"Sheldon…I don't know what's happening. I can't seem to let go." She admitted softly.

"I have spent my life fearing germs…yet I find myself standing here and not a single care is crossing any of my 187 IQ points. It is a most fascinating phenomenon." Sheldon revealed. Penny bit her lip.

"So…you don't mind that I'm…holding you?" she asked softly.

"Actually the experience is quite pleasant." Sheldon revealed.

_Is he for frickin' real? How can he be so cool about this? Has his beautiful mind been incinerated?!_


	4. The Amy phenomenon

**A/N Thanks everyone for your reviews. Guests, I'm getting tired of your negativity. It quite clearly states at the top this is a Penny Sheldon romance fic. What is it you were expecting? Howard and Bernadette having breakfast in bed? Raj entering a breakdancing competition? Kripke having speech therapy to get rid of his lisp perhaps? It says Penny Sheldon romance. Well what do you know, it's romance between Penny and Sheldon! Use the filters to select the stories you want, if you want canon complient stories then choose Penny/Leonard, Sheldon/Amy, Howard/Bernadette etc. Don't go onto a Penny/Sheldon fic and then complain that it's a Penny/Sheldon story.**

**Sorry guys for that rant but it's happening on nearly ever Shenny story I write. People need to get what Penny Sheldon romance means and remember that this is FAN FICTION. If I wanted to write stories as the relationships are on the show I'd get in contact with Chuck Lorre and ask for an internship in his writing department.**

**J, yeah I was kind of wondering about the rating myself. It's difficult to judge, some stories I've seen have been marked as T and there's been sex scenes, yet stories marked as M have had nothing more than a kiss on the cheek or a holding of hands. Whilst there's been no explicit sex scene, I guess Penny holding him and him getting an erection could be M related territory. I'll change the rating just to b sure.**

**And yes people, Penny loves her haircut! :D She's not going to be happy for very long though…**

"So you really like your haircut?" he asked after a moment.

_Screw the haircut Moonpie! God, you have to be the only guy I know who could get felt and mention a haircut. What would you do if someone fucked you? Make a shopping list out loud?_

"It's very nice." She managed to get out. Penny bit her bottom lip as they stood in silence. Sheldon looked up suddenly at the clock on the wall.

"Penny, it's almost Halo time. The others will be here." Said Sheldon.

"Right. The others. Yeah." Whispered Penny and she finally pulled her hand away.

"Are you sure you won't join us for Halo?" he asked. Penny glared at him.

_Fuck you Sheldon. I practically gave you a handjob and you only care about your stupid game?_

Penny shook her head and moved past him. As she left the bathroom and made her way down the halo, she sped up her walk until she was clear of 4A altogether and in the safety of her apartment.

_What the fuck did I expect? It's Sheldon. He doesn't get that kind of stuff. So why do I feel so close to crying?_

She moved to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of vodka.

_Fuck Sheldon. Fuck Leonard. I need vodka. That'll satisfy me._

Penny spent the rest of the night getting more and more wasted. She could hear the occasional noise from across the hall and blocked it out as best she could. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. After a moment it opened, and the face of her bestie peered in.

"Hello bestie. Wii bowling has concluded, I thought I'd drop by and see how my golden princess is doing." Amy grinned.

"Thought it was Halo." Penny muttered.

"Plans were changed because you were absent so they called me but I don't play Halo. I am no good at Wii bowling either. Howard kept putting me off breathing in my ear." Replied Amy.

"Thought he'd have given that up considering he's married." Penny muttered.

"You know what Howard is like. Well, I would ask if I could join you but you appear to have finished the bottle." Said Amy.

"It's vodka. You won't like it." Penny replied.

"Has someone upset my blonde beauty, because I will go over there and kick some ass!" cried Amy. Penny couldn't help but snigger drunkenly.

"Amy, c'mere!" she grinned holding her hands out. Amys face lit up and before she knew it she was in the arms of her bestie.

"Penny, if you are to engage me in cuddling like this I will bring vodka to your apartment frequently!" she smiled.

"It's nice someone like me." Sighed Penny.

"What's wrong bestie?" Amy asked concerned

"Oh just…man stuff." Said Penny. Despite her drunken state she still knew "I grabbed your boyfriends dick" wasn't the best way to continue this hug. It would break Amys heart for one thing. Somehow she knew if Amy had tried it they would see a relationship agreement termination notice and a lot less of Amy.

"It must be difficult with Leonard being so far away." Said Amy.

"Uh huh." Penny sighed.

"Have you heard from him lately?" Amy asked.

"Today." Penny replied.

"How is he?" asked Amy.

"Fucking some other tart." Penny replied.

"What?" asked Amy.

"He told me he's met someone else and wanted to end things between us before anything happened. Why do I never learn? He's just into tits and ass, no wonder he's found someone else." Said Penny.

"I happen to think your breasts and rear are exquisite." Said Amy. Penny should have been creeped out. She should. But part of her liked the ego boost.

"Thanks Amy." She said with a small smile. She tilted her head to see the smiling face of her bestie.

_Perhaps I'm making a big mistake with guys in general. I wonder what Amy would do if I kissed her. I bet she wouldn't wipe her mouth with a tissue._

"Bestie, you are staring at me most intently. Are you OK?" Amy asked.

"What would you do if I kissed you?" Penny asked out loud. Amy looked thoughtful.

"How much vodka did you have bestie?" she asked inquiringly.

"No, I'm serious. If I kissed you…you wouldn't hate it would you? You wouldn't think it was repellent would you?" asked Penny.

"I would take in the taste of those gorgeous lips and lose myself in the moment!" Amy grinned.

"Of course you would." Smiled Penny. Then she did something neither expected. She licked some left over vodka from her lips and leaned in.


	5. Revelations

**A/N So some of you seem confused with the way story has gone, and with Amy. It's been well documented that Amy acts inappropriately with Penny and exhibits Lesbian thoughts about her, I thought this would be an excellent way to put pressure on Sheldon/Amy when Sheldon found out. Read on…**

"Bestie is this really happening?" Amy asked breathlessly.

"Ssh Amy." Penny whispered before their lips finally met. Amy was a little clumsy, but Penny was able to take the lead due to some experimentation in high school.

"Take me bestie!" Amy whispered pulling open her shirt when they pulled apart.

"Have you ever been with a woman?" Penny asked.

"No. But I've dreamt of this moment since I first clapped eyes on you. Oh bestie. Please say we can do this!" Amy pleaded.

"Get in the bedroom!" Penny smirked. Amy was in the bedroom before Penny could even get to her feet, which was no mean feat. The room started to sway a little, and it took her a while to get to her bedroom door.

"Naked already Amy? You work fast!" Penny smirked.

"There's not an inch of my body I wouldn't let you touch bestie!" Amy grinned, quite overwhelmed that something she'd thought of for so long was about to happen.

"Now you have to listen. I will lead you…but you can't tell anyone about this. Our little secret!" said Penny pointing her finger at her.

"Anything you say bestie!" Amy confirmed.

"Oh Amy. So eager to please. That will hold you in good stead!" Grinned Penny. She crawled across the bed.

"I never thought we'd be doing this." She admitted.

"Bestie, you are well aware I find you attractive, I have told you enough times." Amy replied.

"We can't tell Sheldon about this." Said Penny.

"Sheldon probably wouldn't care. You know he has no interest in dealing with my physical requirements." Said Amy.

"Well I suppose it would be cruel of me to deny you that wouldn't?" she asked with a cheeky wink. Amy let out a gasp as Penny pulled her top over her head. Or tried to.

"Damnit!" Penny moaned trying to get it over her head.

"Let me help." Said Amy. She pulled it off and let out a soft sigh as she came face to bra with Penny and her ample busom.

"Bestie are you OK? You're leaning a little sideways…bestie?" asked Amy. Penny fell off the side of the bed, crashed to the floor and passed out.

"Damn." Sighed Amy reaching for her clothes. The next morning Penny awoke with a thumping head. Slowly what happened the previous night came back to her.

"Oh god. Oh god! I didn't! Tell me I didn't!" pleaded Penny. She reached for her phone and dialled Amys number.

"Good morning bestie." Came the reply.

"Amy, what the hell happened last night?" asked Penny.

"You came onto me. But you passed out before we could do anything. Since I'm not male you can't be a cocktease, but you get the idea." Amy replied.

"Oh god. Amy, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done anything like that last night! I was so drunk it wasn't funny!" cried Penny.

"It would have been a special time for me if you had managed to stay conscious. Despite how lovely it was to feel your soft skin when I carried you into your bed and put you to sleep." Said Amy. Penny grimaced, partly in pain, partly in the image of Amy touching her probably inappropriately when settling her in under the duvet.

"Amy, I'm so sorry. I was upset about Leonard, and about Sheldon, and I just…" Penny trailed off as she realised what she'd said.

_Perhaps she won't click onto it._

"How did Sheldon upset you?" Amy asked.

_Great. There goes that idea._

"Um…Sheldon cuddled me when he found out about Leonard. I was just upset because he…it doesn't matter. Don't worry about it. It's all cool." Said Penny hoping Amy would buy it. She didn't.

"If Sheldon has upset you I will get him to apologise. He's right here with me. Sheldon!" Amy said.

"Good morning Penny. Amy has been filling me in on your exploits." Came a familiar voice.

"Hey Sheldon!" Penny tried to sound bright and cheery.

"In future I would rather you did not make drunken passes at my girlfriend." Said Sheldon.

"Got it Sheldon." Said Penny rolling her eyes at the thought she would even dare do it again.

"Penny, may I enquire whether it is appropriate for me to discuss with Amy what happened yesterday?" asked Sheldon.

"No of course it fucking isn't!" cried Penny.

"Penny, there is no need for that kind of language." Said Sheldon.

"Sheldon, I swear, you can't tell Amy what happened between us, she will never talk to either of us again!" Penny pleaded. This whole situation was just TOO fucked up.

"What happened between you?" asked Amy. Oh great. Even more fucked up.

"He passed the phone to you. Without telling me. THANKS SHELDON!" Penny yelled.

"Bestie…I'm not sure I like what you're trying to say." Said Amy. There was a long silence.

"I was upset and I kissed him. But he completely rejected me so it's my entire fault!" said Penny.

"You kissed Sheldon? MY Sheldon? The person I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with?" asked Amy.

"What the hell are you talking about? You were going to sleep with ME last night!" cried Penny. Well, attack always was the best form of defence.

"That's different. You and I wouldn't engage in a relationship. It would be a physical thing only. You and Sheldon are different." Said Amy.

"I'm just a physical thing to you? Well thanks a lot 'bestie'! Wait, what do you mean, me and Sheldon are different?" asked Penny.

"You think I'm blind? I see how you two are together. Sheldon and I have things to talk about. I don't wish to continue our conversation any further. Goodbye Penny." Said Amy and hung up before Penny could even reply.

_Well what the frak does that mean?! How me and him are together? She thinks we're…oh god, my stomach!_

Penny ran to the bathroom and threw up for a good solid few minutes, all the vodka from last night ending in her toilet.

"Oh god, this is so messed up!" groaned Penny resting against the coolness of the tiles on her bathroom floor.


	6. Progress

As the morning passed Pennys hangover finally faded. Just when she was about to get a quick nap on the couch...

*knock knock knock* Penny!

*knock knock knock* Penny!

*knock knock knock* Penny!

"Ugh!" Penny groaned. She wasn't sure whether to answer the door. The situation was rather awkward. But he would only start a new set of knocking.

"Sheldon." She said quietly when she opened the door.

"Hello Penny. I need a ride into town." Said Sheldon. Penny blinked.

"So what, we just go back to normal? Sheldon, I sometimes wonder if there's any sentient activity in your head!" said Penny.

"I fail to see what the problem is. Amy and I have discussed the situation in depth and decided to terminate our relationship agreement due to my inability to satisfy her physical urges and my hatred for her attempting to maul me at every opportunity." Said Sheldon. Penny took a deep breath.

"So you've broke up. Are you OK?" she asked. She really didn't know what to say.

"I am at a satisfactory state both physically and mentally." He replied.

"Alright Sheldon, I guess I owe you an apology. I'm really sorry for what happened yesterday. For kissing you and for…um…" Penny uncharacteristically blushed.

"Holding my genitalia." Sheldon finished for her.

"Yes, that." Said Penny.

"One thing did confuse me. Why do you find it acceptable to touch me in such a way yet when I was attempting to help you get dressed the night you dislocated your shoulder and I touched your breast I was made to feel I had done something wrong?" asked Sheldon.

"Well…what I did was wrong too. And I'm sorry. Is Amy going to talk to me?" she asked.

"I am not responsible for what relationships Amy Farrah Fowler pursues outside of one with myself." Said Sheldon.

"Great. I've really stuffed up. Leonard probably did the right thing getting out when he did." Sighed Penny.

"I must admit following your break up with Leonard engaging in amorous activities with both myself and Amy Farrah Fowler is not something I believe most people would like to brag about." Sheldon replied. Penny looked at him hopefully.

"Are we OK?" she asked, a little nervously.

"I harbour no ill feelings towards you." Sheldon replied.

"Thank you." Said Penny. Before Sheldon could object she pulled him into a hug.

"Again with the physical contact. You're incorrigible!" Sheldon sighed.

"Oh shut up Moonpie. I'm just glad I haven't ruined things between us with my stupidity." Said Penny pulling out of the hug.

"Penny, I require a ride to town." He reminded her.

"I dunno sweetie. I had a lot to drink last night. Can I have something to eat first? I might still be over the limit." Said Penny. Sheldon looked at her in surprise.

"Penny…that sounds like a sensible precaution. I am surprised it came from you." He stated.

"Alright Sheldon, just because I stuffed up yesterday, doesn't mean I won't go Nebraska on your ass if you take liberties!" Penny warned him. She jabbed her finger into his chest.

"Penny, I do not care for finger pointing." Said Sheldon grabbing her hand. He stared down at it, almost like he was trying to work out a formula.

"Sheldon?" she whispered, confused by his actions.

"Penny, would you care to join me for lunch?" he asked dropping her hand suddenly.

"Thank you. That would be nice." Said Penny.

_That was weird. Why did he hold my hand like that?_

"Very well. I shall make sandwiches. Then we must proceed into town. I have much work to do." Said Sheldon.

"Alright." Said Penny trying to study him to work out what was happening. He was acting different somehow, but she couldn't work out why. She followed him across the hall and took a seat on the couch as he made his way to the kitchen.

_Well this isn't working out as bad as I thought. Sheldon isn't mad at me. If I can get things back on track with Amy then things might actually work out for a change! Alright, what the hell is he staring at me for?_

"Something wrong?" she asked. Sheldon suddenly looked away and continued making sandwiches.

_It must have something to do with what he and Amy talked about. Think girl, what would they talk about. About me and him kissing perhaps. Wait…Amy mentioned how we interact. Oh my god! Amy has told him I'm attracted to him! That's why he's acting weird!_

"Sheldon, can I talk to you for a moment?" she asked.

"I'm making the sandwiches." Sheldon replied.

"I'd still like to talk to you. I have a feeling Amy might have told you something and I need to talk to you about it." Said Penny.

"Amy has told me many things in the time we've been together." Sheldon replied.

"Stop trying to avoid the subject Sheldon. Come and sit here." Said Penny.

"The structure of the sandwich will be compromised if there is a delay in its preparation." Said Sheldon.

_For Christ sake Sheldon!_

Penny got up off the couch and walked over to him.

"You're acting weird with me. What's Amy told you?" she asked.

"Nothing." Said Sheldon. His eye immediately twitched.

"Sheldon come on. Talk to me." Whispered Penny. Sheldon let out a long sigh.

"Amy has suggested that you and I are emotionally connected." Said Sheldon.

_Emotionally connected? What the hell does that mean?_

"She thinks we like each other?" Penny guessed.

"I believe knowing that you kissed me and fondled my genitalia has led her to that conclusion." Sheldon replied. Penny slumped her head on the counter.

"Why did you tell her about the bathroom?" Penny groaned.

"She asked. How was I supposed to know you didn't want me to mention it?" asked Sheldon.

"She's your girlfriend Sheldon! Oh god, this is disastorous!" groaned Penny.

"Sandwiches are ready." Said Sheldon. Penny glanced at him in disbelief.

_I don't care what his mother said. He's bat shit crazy._


End file.
